The Work I’ve Been Avoiding
If you’ve been following along with my Substack notes, you may have seen that I spent this past weekend at the Catholic Writers Conference Online, an annual gathering of writers that’s put together by the Catholic Writers Guild (I’m a dues-paying member, and I can’t recommend this enough!)
After chewing through some grounding and reality-checking talks and panels that spanned topics from writing good sci-fi to self publishing, the takeaway was clear: I needed to get back into writing.
The Holy Spirit really wanted to double down on this sentiment as well. At Mass, Paul’s words hit me like a thousand bricks:
Consider your own calling, brothers and sisters.
Not many of you were wise by human standards,
not many were powerful,
not many were of noble birth.
Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise,
and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong,
and God chose the lowly and despised of the world,
those who count for nothing,
to reduce to nothing those who are something,
so that no human being might boast before God.
It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus,
who became for us wisdom from God,
as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption,
so that, as it is written,
“Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.”(1 Corinthians 1:26-31)
When considering my calling, I’ve asked myself and taken to prayer a simple question: what matters? In wrestling with God, probing Him for clarity, I remembered that I…like writing. That should be a no-brainer, since I’m here, but I’ve put my personal writing pursuits on the shelf since I’m an editor by day, too. When you’re paid to analyze writing for 40 hours a week — and I’m so thankful for that! — it takes a toll.
Today, I’ve decided that I’ve had enough with the excuses. I’ve made a nice, comfortable place in these excuses. And a comfy place can be nice, but nothing quite grows there.
“I had a dream, once.”
In this rediscovery, I’ve come to realize that I’ve let my dreams go a bit dormant over the past several years. Life gets “busy” — and don’t get me started on busy — and the world clamors for your attention.
One of the speakers at the conference encouraged writers to prayerfully reflect on their writing journey. In doing so, I remember a key interaction with one of my roommates in college, who’d plainly asked me, “Do you have a dream?”
To that, I remember rattling off a sensible five-year plan, get a job, get married to my boyfriend, yadayadayada.
My roommate had nodded considerately, but raised an eyebrow and asked the question again: “But is there something you aspire to do?”
I was uncomfortable with this question. I laughed it off and reassured her I had dreams…and left it at that.
Until now, many years later.
Perhaps you’re in this position, too. Perhaps you’re like me, someone who cheers everyone else on as they go for gold, taking those crazy risks in life and putting themselves out there. They’ve been sources of inspiration for me, truly. But there comes a point when you need to get out of the metaphorical Pinterest board and into a notebook, a canvas, or whatever it is that sparks your soul.
So…now what do I do?
For me, this looks like consistency. To sum up one of the most profound reflections from this weekend, it’s not a matter of consistency in mere writing, but in prayer, too. Showing up for the Lord and myself. I fully expect that not every day will be 100%. Some days will be a battle, but hey, that’s life.
All I know is this: if you have a calling, don’t let it go dormant. What’s an actionable step you can take today — or even this week — to kindle that still small flame?
How will you consider your calling this week? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Caspar David Friedrich, Woman at a Window (1822)