People, People, People

Author’s Note: This is part four of Living Abundantly With What You Have, a five-part series on the very human notion to collect things, but also the desire to keep things minimal. Start here to learn more!

On a retreat many years ago, the priest leading the retreat talked about what it meant to encounter another person. He spoke of the conversations you’d have…

What do you do for a living?

What are your hobbies?

Where are you from?

Beyond the biographical, Father explained, you start to weave together the pieces of the other person’s story.

“And that, friends,” Father said, “is when you start to fall in love with people.”

I remember being a bit scandalized at that last bit (not quite clutching my pearls, but close). Yet, over the years, the mystery of connection has continued to unfold.

Of all of the essays in this series, I’ll admit that this one was the hardest to write. There’s a bit of impostor syndrome, a bit of “who am I to tell people to talk to one another?” when I find myself struggling to do that at times?

Living abundantly, living “to the full?” People are a vital piece of that abundance equation. We’re meant for community. We’re meant for connection. No matter what vocation, what walk of life you’re on, life falls flat without others.

“That’s a real nice sentiment, Christina,” you might be saying right around now, “but you know how people can be…” Yep.

Let’s face it: we’re human, and we make mistakes, and in an ever-stimulating world of things to collect and products that promise to satisfy every last problem, humans are… well, messy.

We can be flawed. We don’t fit into boxes, as much as we like to put ourselves in them. We also like to put up walls to prevent people from entering in.

We can be messy. We disagree, we have strong opinions, we’ve mastered the art of passive-aggression. We live in a cancel culture where one’s inability to conform to the algorithmic norm has you cast off as a pariah.

Yet, despite all of that, we are real. Think back on the the best memories you have. They were likely all forged with a person in your life—a family member, a true friend.

There’s a spark that comes with human connection. When you’re around your people, you leave feeling fuller.

And, simply put, in this increasingly sterile, digital world we find ourselves being whisked away on, your humanity—flaws and all—counts.

An invitation

“No man is an island,” the great thinker Thomas Merton wrote in his book of the same name. In this era of isolation and interconnectivity, it’s worth it—vital, even—to make that effort and invite people in.

As such, here are some very, very simple things you can do to be intentional with the people in your life.

Check in.

FaceTime, a quick text, a phone call — don’t overcomplicate it. Reaching out is half the battle, trust me. However, what’s waiting on the other side is so worth it.

Host something, anything.

Don’t save seeing your loved ones for life events, birthdays, or holidays. However you’re able, make it happen.

• Bible studies.

• Work your way through the Star Wars series, episode by episode.

• Rosaries and rosé.

• “Crafternoons” where everyone brings a project they’re working on and you all work on them together.

• Or just coordinate a meal. It’s always fun to break bread with someone, (especially if it’s sourdough.)

Don’t have hosting space? No problem.

Find a third space, like your local library or a park. Go outside. Grab some old bedsheets to use as picnic blankets, your emotional support water bottle, and a friend.

This is something I’ve been working on doing more of, and while I’m far from where I want to be, each event or hangout is a step forward.

All of this reminds me of the Māori proverb:

What is the most important thing in the world? It is people, it is people, it is people!

At the end of the day, things are fleeting. The connections we make? They last a lifetime.